Thursday, January 21, 2010


Tony is an ant. One of those tiny black ones you squash without even noticing out on the front sidewalk, except Tony won’t squash because he’s made of the hardest substance in the universe, diaplathydrow, every crumb of which is worth its weight in saffron. Both substances are the only ones highly sought after throughout the entire universe, making Galactic Chief Head Guy Han Polo a rich kid indeed. Han Polo, or Harry Potter, or Herbert Patterson, whichever name he chooses for the day, is the regular spaceship-loving kid on the block. Herbert is on a galactic mission across the neighbor’s yards when he steps on Tony, who burns a hole through his sneaker in retaliation. Herbert, shocked enough to drop his current alien foe, possessing his sister’s rag doll, has to get down on his knees and pull out his inter-space telescope, or magnifying glass, to find Tony. Seeing him, Herbert knows his glory days have come.
“A real alien!” he breathes, reaching in his pocket for his mega-blaster-force-field, or magnet. The magnet creeps closer to the motionless Tony, who watches the boy through wary eyes.
‘Tony’ stands for Twa Owe NaYow, or ‘Little Moving Camera’ in English. Built for infiltration, to spy on Earth factions, his operator is an ordinary squid-alien named John. John has no idea what a magnet is, only finds the camera view swing wildly as Tony jumps forward at lightning speed to bond with the attraction.
“Haha!” Herbert cries, filled with a sense of accomplishment. He takes Tony home and keeps him as a souvenir. Little does he know he has saved Earth from certain and inevitable destruction by John and his associates, left bankrupt with their loss of Tony.
Tony is an ant with a magnet.

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