I got a broom for my birthday. Everyone knows what happens when you get a broom: you either a) ask your dad ‘what the heck is this for?’ b) proceed to sweep his collection of seashells off the bookshelf, c) use it as kindling, or d) mount the thing and think UP. The forth option is really the most fun sounding, so that’s what I tried first.
You’ll never believe what happened next!
I didn’t fly.
I didn’t end up going with any of the first 3 options.
I told you that you’d never believe it. Process of elimination, right? It’s how quizzes work, but unfortunately not how life works. Life throws you curveballs, and straight-balls, and why am I talking basketball?
So here’s what happened. I mounted the broom, thought UP with all my might, glanced at my dad to see if he was trying to attach balloons to the tail, and when I looked back at the broom it had EYES... written on the wood. I gave my dad that look, you know the one, that ‘are you kidding?’ type of look. He’s used to it, he gets it like five times a day. Hey, he’s the type of guy who gives his daughter a broom for her birthday, what can he expect.
Anyway, back to the ‘you’ll never believe it’ part. I squinted down at the writing, dully noted it was vacillating between red and pink in pretty waves, then watched the MOUTH appear right above where I clutched my hands. The MOUTH is written in blue or green, it can’t really decide. That’s when I heard a hum. I thought it was my ears buzzing, so I shook my head.
Then I noticed the hum was coming from the MOUTH. The broom—